Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog. I'm sure that doing this is somewhat self-indulgent but, I shall endeavour to make it worth your while. This is my first venture into the world of blogging and, I suppose like many before me, I'm hoping to create healthy discussion within the readership and contribute to making a positive impact on society. If my opinions or verbiage upsets you, I hope you will express your feelings in a constructive and polite manner. So..., apart from trying to figure out how to make this page useful or interesting, my first dilemma was to whom should I open this blog and how much of myself to reveal. Did I want people to be able to identify me? If so, should I restrict my content to protect my family? Does it matter if noone wants to read what I have to say? What to do, what to do? I guess I'll have to work it out as I go.
It occurred to me today that my anxieties have the potential to completely take over my life. There's a part of me that is strong, capable and resilient and that side has brought me through a lot of turmoil in my life. But lately, the child in me is surfacing too often and, through her, I think I have an inkling as to how people can get to a point where they are actually afraid to leave their homes or interract with others. I am finding it very difficult to shut things out - if someone walks by me with a cane, I almost seem to feel their pain, if someone tells me a problem, I take on the worry and try to solve it for them. This may seem wonderful and empathic, and it could be, but I realize that the level at which these things are affecting me is neither normal nor healthy. This may have occurred as a result of increased stress(caused by health issues, the death of a number of friends/co-workers, the struggles of friends and acquaintainces to survive in the current economic environment, helping one my of sons cope with a working memory deficit and a growing discontent with some aspects of my life).
Further, in my work environment, I communicate with thousands of people from many different walks of life and it's rarely in their proudest moments. I do my best to make contact with me a pleasurable part of their day but, of course, we can only control our behaviour and it is inevitable that we run into people who seem determined to be unpleasant.
Now, I believe we all live in our own little communal bubbles (i.e., we tend to maintain relationships with people who are generally like us). As a result of this, we may lose a certain sense of how different other people's lives and lifestyles are, and that their, ' normal', could be diametrically opposed to ours. While these differences make life and people interesting, when I am confronted with certain differences (such as people who seem to walk around angry all the time or lead a life filled with violence), I am fearful for myself and for the future of my children who will be completely exposed to such people in due course. This is a battle that I, like so many others, face every day - trying to deal with our personal demons while bringing up our children to be loving, capable, contributing and well-adjusted members of society. I wonder, how do you handle things? What techniques do you use to cope or to help your family? Do you feel like you're winning the war?
